This is becoming chronic, this lack of sleep. It was Monya last month, my three year old who is so attached to me that she wakes me up every single night to make sure I am there. Now, however, it is me, totally self-inflicted. I think, I feel, I think some more, and bye bye slumber.
We humans are such emotional creatures, with variations in intensity (think Italian and Lebanese with a lava-like explosions of feelings, compared to Brits and Swedes for example who surely must have emotions, very well-hidden, but there nonetheless). We feel strongly about music, songs that move us, about sports that we watch and get passionate about, politics, religion, each other. We either hate or love each other and it consumes us, this obsession with other people. There are always other people there in our lives that we are reacting to, that we allow in, and who we cannot let go of, whether they be close to us, family, friends, celebrities (think George Clooney or Johnny Depp), artists, complete strangers that we meet. We humans do nothing but interact and bounce off each other emotionally, every day. People who make us crazy when we drive, co-workers that bug us or inspire us, salespeople or waiters that either make or break our mood for the day, a phone call from someone we like or dislike. All of these emotions that we are reacting with daily have got to affect something in us collectively at the end of each day.
On some level I understand the drive of hermits to escape and live alone, and become philosophers or sages. It is necessary to be alone to think and create, but to what extent should we remove ourselves from the current of emotions caused by people in our daily lives so we can get an objective view (and is a view ever objective) and write about it. I think I can write and think and write some more when I am alone at the end of the day or first thing in the morning. My writing changes in each case. When I write at the end of a day, I seem to be more emotional, having had charges of feeling and interactions all day, which makes what I write more passionate. Morning writing is more balanced, maybe a bit more hopeful, which is what a new day gives you, a sense of a new page being turned.
I started this blog very early this morning, with no sleep, then a little girl who I adore came to my bed where I was working on my laptop and asked me to hug her as she had visions of Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory scenes where the boy is sucked into the “chocolate hole” as she called it. She was anxious as the boy seems to disappear in chocolate. I held her and reassured her then slept for three hours. Now I am continuing the blog and the mood has changed. I usually re-read and edit and re-write, which is the thing to do, out of respect for readers. Today, though, I will not do that. I will keep the string of consciousness as is, with any mistakes that slipped in, even the ones caused by sheer exhaustion.
My writing has completely changed since the end of the summer. I have experienced a change in perspective, a new influx of feelings and thoughts came into my life, just like that, and now I write and think differently, much differently than I did. I owe this to people coming into my life, inspiring me, and affecting the way that I think. This strengthens the theory that interaction with people is a necessary part of writing, at least for me. You need to reflect what you live. Being honest and true as a witness of human interactions and emotions, helping inspire other people, and having a purpose to your writing. We do not write in a vacuum, we write for other people to read. We need to have a true set of experiences and feelings and emotions that we would like to convey to others out there who need it. I need to be both truthful and analytical to draw the hidden truths, and know how to portray how we do what we do, and why.
My aim has always been to create and entertain, but now more than ever, it is to spread the positive lessons and experiences to help others out there, who need to be inspired, helped on an emotional level, and a number of you have come back to me to tell me that I was starting to do just that.
It is a very big responsibility. I need to be very conscientious-which I hope I always am- and true to what I feel and think, portraying and sharing what I believe to be the honest truth after reflection.
Today my truth is that humans need each other. We are social creatures, we have a need for each other on that level. No matter how digital our lives are becoming, we still need the human face, the interaction, the voice, the shaking hands, which will never be replaced by any mechanical means of meeting. Much like a child who needs a touch of care, a hug, a smile to be nurtured into growing up as a warm and giving person, we need each other’s human presence to see each other’s smiles, to look in each other’s eyes when we speak to each other, and connect as humans, no matter how short-lived the encounter is.
That is my take on human interactions, and that is my truth that I would like to share with you this morning.
I really appreciate the time you take to read what I write. It makes me want to write more, as my interaction with you is what eggs me on. Please comment, positive or negative, your comments are my beacon and my sense of direction.